New Pitch, Outline and Treatment – Developing from original idea.

The Pitch

Ella was born with a weak heart and doctors didn’t think she would live to see past her second birthday.  Twelve years later, Ella is still fighting this battle to stay alive. 

Sitting in her hospital bed, she hears a knocking sound coming from the door but as she goes to check, there is no one at the door or outside, the place is empty. The knocking continues but with no one around whom or what is knocking and what does it mean?

The Outline

Ella has never had what you would call a “normal life”, a simple life. If it wasn’t hospital appointments or checkups it was being told to be careful and being told what she must and mustn’t do, every second of every day. Ella was born with a weak heart and even the doctors didn’t think she would live past her second birthday. Twelve years later and Ella is still fighting the battle just to stay alive.

Ella could never do things that the other kids did, she wasn’t allowed to play sports, run very far on her own, play on the swings or in the playground without someone their ready to catch her or inject her. It never stopped Ella fighting or dreaming of the future she knew may never come.

Ella is back in the hospital again for her next operation, waiting in the hospital bed for the process to begin she hears a knock at the door, as she goes to find out who’s at the door she finds no one is at the door or even outside. The place is empty, deserted. Ella steps out the room to see a white figured blur running past her as she tried to follow it and run after them she collapses on the floor. A nurse runs over to her and helps her back to her room. Ella asks the nurse if she can hear it too, the knocking noise. The nurse stares blankly back at Ella with a puzzled and confused look upon her face.

Why can Ella only hear this knock, is it all inside her head, is she going mad. If so what does it mean and why can she only hear it?

The Treatment

ACT ONE – DAY-AFTERNOON -Hospital room, private cubicle ELLA is sitting on the bed looking over a BROWN old fashioned, worn photo album. It cuts to show her parents JOHN,LISA talking to the doctor behind a small blinded window.

FLASHBACK  ONE – (PAST) Ella- FIVE is running with her mum LISA behind her arms at the ready, showing a motion of being ready to catch her and being cautious and over protective. Three or four children playing around Ella, jumping,running,playing showing the things that Ella can’t do. Ella’s facial expression indicates envy and sadness.


FLASHBACK TWO – (PAST) (REAL EVENTS) Ella – EIGHT/NINE In hospital bed wires going inside her and coming out. Linked up to monitors. Donor operation preparation.

Back to Ella (PRESENT DAY) in hospital bed again, wakes up dreary and half asleep. Rolls over and finds a bible placed on the stand next to the bed.  Ella picks up the bible and begins flicking through it. Reading bits looking for hope/reassurance/faith. Hears a knock at the door, Ella walks over to open door no one is there, both her parents and the doctors have gone. Thinking nothing of it Ella climbs back into bed and carries on reading the bible. Ella starts to feel tired again as her eyes start to flutter and slowly close she falls back asleep, letting the bible fall onto the floor.

FLASHBACK  THREE– (FUTURE) (DREAM) ELLA – In surgery being operated on , heart transplant being performed. The operation was a success and Ella gets a new heart. CUTS to show her running down a track – HAPPY, HEALTHY – Reaching the finishing line.  In a WHITE MISTY CLOUDY MISE-EN-SCENE.

Back to Ella (PRESENT DAY) Nurse enters the hospital room, checks blood pressure, tubes and temperature, smiles at Ella and turns to exit room when notices a NOTE on the floor, hands it to Ella placing it on the bed and exits room. ELLA looks at the note, unfolding it and scans over it reading what is written. Note has scribbled on it– “Ask and it will be given to you” Ella looks at the note, looking not particular very interested scrunches it up in her hand and throws it in the bin. The KNOCKING gets louder and ELLA rubs her temple. She gets off the bed and begins to search the room to find where it is coming from.She hears the same noise coming from the window – window is see through – and no one is outside the room although the NOISE CONTINUES.

FLASHBACK FOUR – (PRESENT)  ELLA is at her bedroom at home. Staring at a CALENDAR on the wall with a big RED circle on 27th JUNE . She runs her finger over that particular circle.

Back to ELLA in hospital bed, stares down at her hand. A red ink stain is on her fingers .

LOCATION CHANGES – Parents JOHN, LISA sitting in the CHAPEL. JOHN is praying and Lisa is resting her head on this shoulders. LISA picks up cup from under place mat – Written in BOLD LETTERING  “7.7 seek and you shall find”

Back to ELLA – Going through her bag and pulling out a notebook. She rips a piece of paper out and grabs the pen off the side – writes on the piece of paper “I want to live” she folds it up and places it inside her t-shirt, the side nearest her heart and CLOSES HER EYES.

The knock changes into a HEARTBEAT sound. STRONG and BEATING.


About allyprentice2810

I am a young media proffesional, experimenting with different mediums of media to find my niche. Studying Media Production at Coventry University.
This entry was posted in 162 MC - Developing A Narrative, Narrative. Bookmark the permalink.

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